|Keeper of the Sins
||[Nov. 10th, 2008|08:56 am]
|||||silence of thoughts||]|
Stop for a moment and look around you. Now think about your friends and family. Then think about your job (if you have one) and your personal career. Once you have done all that think about what is your place on this world and in this existence. Do you know what your place is in all of this?
I actually do know my place in all of this. I am the new age version of the serpent in the Garden of Eden. There are of course a few changes, but when all is said and done I think it is a fair analogy. I do not judge a soul I know. I have friends who have cheated, lied, stole, hurt people, and so on. I still have them as friends as they are who they are. People cannot be changed and it is about what they do and how they do it. As in there is a line you can cross, but if you stay on the edge then you are fine.
Now I am not one for tempting people into going to rob a bank. However, I do tempt people into knowledge. I believe knowledge is something everyone should gain and sometimes to gain knowledge you have to actually do something. Reading about an event or drug, or watching a video on it, does not truly explain how it is. Did the videos in High School really teach you how pot affects you? When you did it was it anything like they said it would be? It was something that had to be tried and experienced to truly understand why people do it. To gain experiences I will always point friends down the road that will teach them something, but unlike the snake I will watch out for them and stand beside them to keep them from trouble.
So being the fractured soul I am with part of me on the side of good and part of me on the side of fun I have become a keeper. The person people feel fine sharing dark secrets and multiple sins with. When a friend cheats I am the person who gets the call as they cry, or brag, about it because they know I will stay silent. I see no reason to harm friends and cause them unwanted drama. If you are someone I do not like then I see no reason to keep your secrets, but I will never betray a friend or even burn a bridge. So I sit silently in my own Garden of Evil watching the children play with each other and listen to the whispers off the wind of the little adventures they have had never letting then go any farther.
Now why write about this when all who know me pretty much know this? Because in the end one thing that bothers me is how many secrets I know. How many of my friends tell me things about other people. How much goes on in the background. How many whispers breeze by me. All I cannot tell and all I have to keep to myself as they all wrap around each other. The drunk friend who says he wants to leave his mate, the pregnant girl afraid to tell her boyfriend the truth, the woman who cheated and wishes she could leave her man, and many more. All linked to people I know. All encased in friendship and having to be forgotten to save what friendship remains.
Guess part of wanting to be the invisible figure moving the pieces on the board means you have to know what everyone can do. You have to learn the secrets of the pieces to best play them. There is a move in Chess called castling. It is where you move the rook over two spaces and the king over to spaces so the rook is now on the other side of the king. This is done in one move and is a special move of the game. So if you know about it's secret you can use it, but if you simply read the rules and how pieces move you would never know about it. In life I guess I am the one who learns the strategies, but have to give up a lot to do it.
Can one who has a shattered mind and a fractured soul become a truly great player in this game of life? Guess as I keep gaining knowledge and trying to lead others down the right roads I feel they need to be down I will learn the truth. Here is hoping in the end I am not the one laying down my king.